Today the tears prick so close to the surface that I fear they will spill at any moment. Today, Friday morning, 4 years ago, the phone rang.
“Harry has had a fall.”
Today, I will allow my tears to fall. A hot stream of silent tears hidden behind tinted car windows. Silently falling past dark sunglasses. Tears of grief, shed in secret.
A grief that I don’t know I want to feel, should feel or even do truly feel any longer.
I don’t want you to see my tears. I don’t want you to misunderstand my tears.
They are not for what, some may think, we don’t have. Perhaps they are for what we once had…perhaps.
They are tears of shock remembered. Tears of grief remembered. Reliving nights of stillness, of confusion, of fear. The quiet beeps of monitors and comforting, consistent woosh woosh woosh of the ventilator.
4 years.
4 years of learning. 4 years of therapy, meditation and mindfulness to accept and embrace a new path.
Our vision is different now. We are good and we are happy.
But today, the tears will fall. And I will let them.
Give the boy a chance 
Such a brave post Michaela. Thanks for sharing. And a big hug to you all.
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Thank you Jane!
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I think of you all often, I think of you all fondly, I particular think of you today every year. H definitely picked the right parents when he picked you too. blessed xx
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Wow, thanks Jodie! Hope all is well with you! Take care x
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Micheala, I send you SO much love. My heart is pounding. Your words are beautiful.
xxxx
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Thank you so much Sharon, so lovely to hear from you x
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For us it is 6 year today. Thank you for your words. I was finding today a tough one. Love to you x
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Sometimes it feels like it’s all going to pass easily, but then it doesn’t quite go as expected… Sending love back to you too. Another year we’ve all made it through x
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Thank you so much Micheala for sharing such a raw emotion beautifully written. We think of you and your family so often with love in our hearts. X
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Thank you for the lovely comment and for thinking of us all x
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Beautifully expressed,Michaela. Poignant and very moving.
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Thanks so much Jenny! Sending lots of love x
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Hi Michaela, 4 years now – that day remains in my memory. I’m no longer working, but am inspired by what you and your family have achieved! Love and best wishes, Phil and Kathryn xx
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Thank you for the lovely words. And we are so grateful that you were part of Harry’s incredible team at WCH. M&J x
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