I can’t believe that we’re already 3 weeks into school, that’s a third of his first term of his first year at school completed already – amazing! The journey to school has been a long one for us, as for most parents of a child with a disability, because the path isn’t always as clear as it should be.
The week before H’s accident, 5 years ago last Friday, we put down a deposit on a house. It was our first house and J and I were over the moon. One of the reasons we also loved the house was because of the local primary school which we had heard so many wonderful things about. This was our house and that would be H’s school. Done.
Until it’s not done. Until you suddenly find yourself on the ‘special’ road assuming and sometimes being told that you should go to ‘special’ places. You know, special kindy then special school on the special bus etc etc. As a new parent, you have no idea what you’re doing really and particularly as a new parent who went to school a LONG time ago when there was certainly not even a whiff of inclusion at school. Our assumptions are based on our experiences and those experiences can tell you that the ‘special’ path is the only path available to your child.
But along the way some of us are lucky enough to meet people who question and challenge those assumptions – why should he go to special school? Is that really the best path for him? Who’s going to benefit from him going to special school? Not him. And not his peers. Isn’t it interesting that not a single research article exists showing that segregated education has better outcomes for children with or without disabilities. NOT ONE.
I first became aware of that very interesting and path-changing fact when I went to a seminar by Dr Bob Jackson. In his article, “Why should schools include children with a disability” he talks about the outcomes of an inclusive education for kids with and without disabilities, teachers and the whole school community. I highly recommend a quick read of it. It’s belief changing stuff.
And so here we are. 5 years later and back where we started. The house is now our home and the school that we thought was no longer for us is where we drop H off every week day morning. And over the past 3 weeks, here are a few things that have reassured me of our decision…
We were playing out the front when a young girl in H’s class and her dad walked across the road to say hi because they live in the house opposite ours.
I had my offer of creating a letter for the kids to explain all of H’s equipment politely turned down because the kids aren’t really fussed by any of it.
I did write a letter to the parents, however, and have felt only support. Some have approached me in person, some via Facebook and some through this blog. Not one has questioned H being at school with their kids.
I have felt included.
I didn’t realise that including H in his local school moves far beyond him being in a classroom with his peers. It has ensured that our family is part of this community too. This is our neighbourhood and ALL of our kids go to school together and bump into each other playing outside, at the shops or on the street. Just as they should.
It’s still early days and I’m certainly under no illusion that it’s all going to be smooth sailing. We’ve had a few hiccups (a toilet seat arrived two weeks late and was in fact a chair. Yes, just a chair. To sit in), I’ve been more tired these past few weeks than ever before (compounded by an excellent bout of croup for T), but H is happy and I feel certain that he is exactly where he needs to be.
The look of pride when he puts on his school uniform and the beams of happiness as he high fives his buddies on his way to the car at the end of the day are all I need to keep going. (Well, that and a steady stream of double shot lattes!)
We may only be a few steps in, but I feel they are the right steps on the right path…